The Faroe Islands Experience, #1 On My Bucket List

Right now, 20th of July, my kid and I are on the Amtrak Train to New York. We have a lot of time and hopefully I can use all of it to journal about my trip in the Faroe Islands last June 2026.

City of Torshavn, Faroe Islands

Firstly, thank you to my husband who supports me with the things that worries him but makes me happy. I made it safe traveling solo to the Faroe Islands.

Tinganes Government Offices in the City of Torshavn Faroe Islands
Skansin Lighthouse in Torshavn

Before we landed, I met a Filipina when I was getting ready to exit the plane.

It was an easy plan considering how small the island is. I joined Facebook pages/groups and did a lot of  researched for a year from public transportation, weather, right hiking/marathon gear including regular outfit for ordinary days,  useful apps like All Trails, YR Weather, flights and accomodations, and deciding what means of spending should I be using. I did not use cash anywhere. I used a credit card that does not have foreign transaction fees, and I redeemed the cash back to pay some of my expenses.

Locals residing within Tinganes

The tricky part on this trip was making sure I have comfortable  and weather appropriate gear. I got high top waterproof Keen boots from Amazon,  Exped waterproof backpack for my hiking, two waterproof pants (insulated and thin one), The North Face unlined rain jacket which was always nicely rolled in my pack, 100% fine merino wool but a little thick, windbreaker, few dry wicking long sleeve and t-shirts. These also I wore when I went to the restaurants after hiking. People look simple. June is still cold and windy. The only time I see people dressed up was in the weekend in Torshavn for an event.

Esturoy Tunnel of Faroe Islands, the first and only roundabout in the world.

I flew with Icelandair.

I’ve read a lot of cancellations  on Facebook groups two days before my trip and it was giving me anxiety. I took a break reading everyone’s travel experiences. I thought and hoped that my trip would be different. It went well. The airlines were right on time. The kiosk in Iceland immigration before my connecting flight was long and slow. Some machines were not working. There were four or five people working. This was not a hassle for me. Traveling to and from The Philippines always prompts me to book with enough time for lay overs or connecting flights. Flight arrival can be on time but it can take a while to find a gate for the plane to park. And this can be very stressful when catching the next flight or when going through immigration.

Vagar Airport is the only airport in the islands. After grabbing my luggage, I went straight to purchase a new sim card that comes with minutes and data for my unlocked phone. My cellphone doesn’t work with esim so I opted for a physical sim. It was easy. AT&T does not have coverage on this island. I messaged my family to give them an update then headed out to the rental car which is on the left side as you exit the airport building. The rental cars are parked on a different lot which is right across the airport. My car key has important information in it from phone numbers, type of gas/fuel which was in green color, car model etc. I also have a paper and digital copy of rental coverage from my credit card company. I did not buy insurance coverage at the rental.

Same with the other bookings I made, I booked everything refundable from flights to accommodations. With regards to medical emergencies, I talked to my health insurance here and I was told they cover international health insurance. What I have to do when it is needed is to pay out of my pocket while I am there and they will reimburse once a claim is filed.

When the plane was about to land, I could see the beautiful massive “mountains”, fjords.   I paused multiple times on my way to pick up my rental car. I would look around in awe.

I got my rental car from Enterprise.  I checked and took photos of the car’s condition just in case I may need it later. Hanged my phone holder for navigation purposes and short video clips. I am technically challenged so I did not sync my phone with the car’s Bluetooth. I also was able to take quick videos while on the road. I find it simple instead of trying to get acquainted with the new buttons on the car. Everything was within my reach. The phone was  mostly charging.

Mulafossur Waterfalls in Gasadalur
Gasadalur

First stop was Mulafossur Waterfalls in Gasadalur. There are two viewpoints, the one that is slightly further is the best to get a beautiful wider picture. A tripod would have been a good idea for a nice portrait with myself in it but the wind did not help. I had a nice short hike which I recommend when time allows. A lot of Buttercup flowers everywhere and the fog hovering the fjords looks magical. Then I headed out to the picturesque village of Bour. Here, I got the view of the Tindholmur and Drangarnir sea stack. I had a nice short walk around the neighboring houses. There is also a paved trail along the ocean. A fenced garden with a waterfall and small bridge was a nice addition to my walk. There were unleashed friendly dogs on the street which scared me a bit but the animals seemed to be used to seeing people walking around. I stopped at  Kvivik Viewpoint where I sat at the hatch of my car, had a snack and relaxed for a bit. It was foggy so I did not take a lot of photos. Then I headed down to Leynar  beach where I collected rocks and shells to take home. After here, I headed to Torshavn City where I stayed on an AirBnB.

Bour
Bour
Bour
Leynar Beach
Leynar Beach

I had everything within walking distance  from where I stayed. Grocery store, gift shopping, marathon venue, bakery, gasoline stations and restaurants.

The most beautiful hike of my entire life. Kallur Lighthouse. Kalsoy Island
The view from the other side of Kallur Lighthouse. Kalsoy Island
Kallur Lighthouse behind me.
The bleating sheep and chirping birds filled the air. Trollanes Kalsoy Island
Trollanes Village
Trollanes Village
Trollanes Village
Seal Woman in Mikladalur Village. We stop here after Kallur Lighthouse, before heading back to Syoradalur Pier
Mikladalur Village

Mikladalur Village
The view from the fenced farm/trail we hiked while waiting for the public bus. Mikladalur Village
Mikladalur Village
Mikladalur Village
The view of Syòradalur Pier from the ferry, leaving Kalsoy Island.
The view of Syòradalur Pier from the ferry, leaving Kalsoy Island.

The second day’s journal is long and I copied it from my Facebook account dated June 5th 2026.
⚠️ Long journal.
Today, there was a lot of hiking in the Northern part of the Faroe Islands. Short courses but I find them difficult. The first one was at Kallur Lighthouse in Trollanes village of Kalsoy island. One trail here was so narrow that you could be blown easily when it’s windy or fall when you twist an ankle. The fear set in. I was skeptical about pursuing it but I  thought I  should try and be happy if I could only do it halfway. I am glad I tried and made it beyond halfway, almost to the end point but the smidge hike up looked like I could slip easily. I turned around and halfway I leaned on a huge rock and stayed there for a bit and soaked in all the wonders. This experience, this particular hike ,  the fog in its slow motion and the birds this morning is magical and I will never forget. It is more than magical, it is a very spiritual experience. I can’t thank the Lord enough. Wow! I paused a lot, looked around, hiked back up and paused again, looked around. I did this repeatedly in awe of  how such a beautiful place like this existed. I was in tears. I was joyfully overwhelmed. This is the best and most beautiful hike of my entire life.
The next hike was in Villingadaisfjall in the Northernmost village of Viòareidi in Vidoy island. I dreamt of reaching the top of Cape Enniberg. From what I have read, a guide is needed to hike this one. So when I started my itinerary, plan A is to have a guide and do the full hike and plan B is to do it alone and hike just enough to be on the higher ground which is the starting point for Cape Enniberg just so I can sit and enjoy the view of the whole village against the magnificent backdrop of another fjord. My knees started  acting up on the first hike and I need to save some strength for more hikes and running. So right at the start of this one, I chose plan B. I made it beyond the starting point. I was almost at the top. I was fine going up and I know I can make it to the top but also I understand myself well that going down could hurt my knees and may derail the other activities coming up. It was tempting to keep going, my brain was battling. I sat down and thought back to the goal I had and the purpose of this hike. I am happy with how far I hiked. I can see everything. Wow! I took my pole out. While the whisper to climb higher got louder, I heard inside of me not to do it so I stood up and humbly started hiking back down.
Content.
Happy.
I kept walking down to the village, watching the kids play. Took a picture of a school. Talked to a grandma who was watching her granddaughter riding her bike. She told me there are only 30 students in that school. Certain grade levels are mixed together during certain classes. I got to peek at how the classrooms look inside.  She was excited telling me the new addition for kindergartners at the back of the building and I looked around. I asked why there is a low number of students, she said some  kids get to do more activities in the city which the parents don’t mind driving them back and forth and some families move. She told me she has Filipino friends who are missionaries and assured me that I will be welcomed at their church when I decide to come. She blessed and hoped for me to have a wonderful stay on the island.
I left the village emotional. Overjoyed. Grateful.
I love this place and I’ve been here for only a day and a half. I wish I could stay here for a month or three.
The grandmother waved  goodbye when I drove by.
This is more than a dream. A plan made it alive. I told my South Korean friend who has been traveling solo to twenty countries and who I met at Kallur Lighthouse that I have been to other countries only at its airport for connecting flights to the Philippines. She have have a pretty Korean name but asked me to call her, J, since most people have a hard time pronouncing her name correctly. We started talking on the bus on our way from Trollanes to Mikladalur to see the Seal Woman. It was a quick stop to see this tourist spot. Instead of standing to wait for the bus to leave,  we walked around Mikladalur Village. Past Malta Church and the cemetery, we found a fenced/gated farm with a double trail, here we hiked and talked more. She is surprised that none of her friends heard about the Faroe Islands. I myself also never heard my friends or other people talk about this place.
This island is small, calm, and its beauty speaks volumes , immensely magnificent that your heart could not contain. It magnifies our Creator.
Anyway, enjoy my favorite snaps of memory clippings. Pardon me with the long write up.
P.S. I heard of this Island thru a documentary about Filipinas who got married to Faroese men. I fell in love. I fell in love with the background of that documentary.

Villingardalsfjall – Enniberg Hike. Vidoy island
Cape Enniberg Vidoy Island
Almost to the Enniberg Summit…. someday, I will finish this hike.
Vidoy Island
School in Vidoy Islands
Almost 9pm at Vidoy Island. The red building is the school. The sun rays were just beautiful. I wished I stayed there for at least two nights.

I met She on Facebook. When I found out that there is a marathon in the Faroe Islands, I checked its website’s registrants. When I saw a Philippines flag on two of the registrants, I looked them up on Facebook and She responded. I was curious about the weather and wanted to know more of the islands  from someone who lives there.

I finally met her, her kids and husband at the Bib pickup. She invited me to her home if ever I have time. But I already made plans for a boat tour and hike. On my way to the supposed tour, I was notified of its cancellation. It was foggy and windy. Gladly I have not driven far from where I was staying.  I got lost on my way back to the guesthouse. Google map took me to a windmill farm. I could hardly see the road. I stayed at the windmill farm and waited for the fog to clear up. I took my time as I waited in the car, messaging my family and friends. She messaged me and I told her that my tour got cancelled. She decided to meet me at Torshavn. We got to spend time together. We went for a walk, lunch and souvenir shopping. It was a wonderful time getting to know each other even for the shortest amount of time. I am thankful for her friendship and kindness. I hope to see her again when I go back.

The fourth day was the Torshavn Marathon. I did not sleep well. The neighbors of the guesthouse I stayed at were drunk and loud…. and this is an every night occurrence. I never got a good sleep for four nights. I got out of bed early so I can go for a walk and experience the city  in the morning before everyone wakes up. The bakery is close to Skansin Lighthouse where I walked, then I proceeded to Tinganes for the second time. Two hours before the race, I went back to bed just to rest my body. I was freaking out and terribly anxious. I worried about my knees, my breathing, myself in general because I think I did not train enough. I needed to hear my running friends from home. Thank God for their wonderful positive mind and kind heart to uplift my spirit. I kept this race to myself because of the issues on my knees. Without telling, it will prevent me from hearing negative comments if something goes wrong. I was doubting myself. My confidence was low. I did not  want to embarrass myself in case I fail to finish. This race has so many hills which I never experience on the road. Going to Kaldabak village, which is close to the open sea, the wind made it harder to keep forward. The cold wind triggered pain on my knees.  I don’t know why that is but it went away after that route. It was a beautiful race. It was hard. The magnificent scenery compensated for the absence of spectators along the way. The volunteers were wonderful. The meal after the race was great, Salmon and quinoa salad. And for those who like beer after a long run, they have that there too. I love my medal and my bib number. Both are hanging on the running swag shelf that my husband built. The people around the island seem calm and patient. I still can’t believe I braved my timid self to travel this far. I am grateful for this experience and most importantly the people I met. I finished the marathon in less than five hours which was the goal. Thank you, Lord. You are always good. Zephania 3:17

I rested for four hours and decided to drive for a recovery walk. It was worth getting lost on my way to Kirkjubøur. My favorite spot has a bench by the beach where the buttercup flowers are. It looked peaceful. Perfect. The sun was setting in. It was a loving experience. Time felt kind to me and again it made me so grateful. That favorite spot in Kirkjubour has a sign that says in english, “At Home In Garòur.”

Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur. Beautiful spot to relax. It has an easy trail to walk.
Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur
Kirkjubøur

I almost got ticketed on the fifth day. Right when I got my largest luggage on the trunk I noticed someone taking pictures of the cars parked on the street. When he reached mine, I greeted him and told him I was about to leave. I mentioned that I forgot to put the time in on the meter (which is on the right side of the windshield that the rental car has put on). I parked late after Kirkjubøur. He was patient explaining the rules. I drove my car away from where it was parked, and came back to that same spot. My plan was to put the meter as soon as I got to park it but I had trouble parallel parking after multiple tries and also I noticed him watching me thru the mirror. I thought he left. Lol. So I left that area, drove a little further but close enough to the store I want to get a souvenir from. I know that my car has to be perfectly parked inside the “line” which I thought I did so I proceeded to check the map for the store. When I moved my head, I thought I saw the officer standing on the side of the street and I pretended I did not notice. I went ahead and opened the door, checked if I parked correctly. After that I looked up and acted as if I just noticed him. He gave me a thumbs up and smiled. He followed me around to make sure I knew what I was doing and not breaking the rules. I realized that I ran out of data so I drove around the city for a bit hoping to find the mall. I was anxious because I heavily depended on my phone for navigation. I am not familiar with the mall and I thought I would just ask somebody. Thankfully, I saw a Filipina working at the beauty store. She was friendly and pointed me to the right store. I swung by the food court, got some macaroons and bread then headed out for Saksun.

Saksun

Saksun  drive was the most beautiful I have ever driven. The narrow road is surrounded with fjords, sheep, and small streams. It made me imagine what paradise could look like. I was reminded of the picture bible stories I used to browse when I was a little kid. I could have hiked and walked at the black sandy beach but I did not have enough time. A boat tour for Drangarnir has been scheduled that day.  I just walked around. Savor the scenery and took a lot of photos. It was a clear sunny day which was perfect for the boat tour. The wave got me sick even after using the Motion EZ travel oil (which always has been helpful when I fly as a replacement from the Scopolamine travel patch. Scopolamine gives me blurry vision and pink urine), so I napped after then around eight o’clock that night I headed out to hike Traelanipa’s Lake Above The Ocean then Trollkonufingur/Witch’s Finger Trail after.

Drangarnir Sea Stack
Tindholmur & Drangarnir Sea Stack
Tindholmur & Drangarnir Sea Stack
Traelanipa’s Lake Above The Ocean
Traelanipa’s Lake Above The Ocean Trail
Trollkonufingur/Witch’s Finger Trail
Trollkonufingur/Witch’s Finger Trail

The plan for the sixth day was to hike from Tjørnuvik to Mylingur. It was foggy and rainy. On my way to Tjørnuvik,   I changed my route for Gjógv which was also on my itinerary but not on top of my list to hike. So, Tjørnuvik, Cape Enniberg summit and a few other hiking trails that I was not able to do will be a good reason to go back. The island itself is worth coming back to. Anyway, I did not want to risk getting lost and hurting myself in wet and foggy weather hiking to Mylingur. Back at Gjøgv journaling, I found a restaurant on the map that I wanted to go to. I was excited that I could finally sit down and have another meal or a restaurant to experience. I waited outside in the rain. When a tour bus arrived, a bunch of people walked into the restaurant and I followed them only to realize that they were only open for tour buses of tourists. LOL. Anyway, there also is a cafe at the start/end of the trail to purchase hot beverages and waffles. It was a nice treat after hiking up the trail and walking around the village. The drive to Gjøgv is like going to Saksun but on steroids.  More elevation. I couldn’t imagine driving on the top of the massive fjords I was awestruck seeing from down below. A lot of sheep everywhere. The drive is slow and there is a little space to the side of the road to pull over to let the incoming car pass. Everywhere you look is beautiful. There is really no need to rush. There was no time limit where I park which is close to the small cafe and trail head. I walked around the village and by the time I was done, a few vintage cars drove by.

Gjogv. The other following photos are from Gjogv also.
The view of Risin and Kellingin. I was eaving Gjogv, heading to Fossa Waterfall
Fossa Waterfall

I stayed near the airport on my last few days. It was a quick airport trip for my return flight. The airport is very small and it has everything you could need. The small souvenirs like key chains, magnets are cheaper there than at the mall (except I got lucky with 100% wool sweater and long johns that was 50% off at the mall two days ago).

The view from Guesthouse Hugo. I wished I stayed here the whole time.
The view from the guest house.

Will I go back to the Faroe Islands? Definitely yes! I even will consider living there when I can.

I wish I took home some wool I picked up during my hike. I had it all packed but took them out of my luggage due to fear of being questioned by the TSA.

Anyway, it was a dream come true. An awesome experience of a lifetime.  Blessed.

“The will of God will not take you where the grace of God cannot keep you.” – Billy Graham

Is It Time Already To Visit My Mother, The Whole Family In The Philippines?

The last time I went to The Philippines was a surprise. 

No one knew I was coming home but my family here in America who always knew how I hoped to spend Christmas time with my mother after twenty plus years of not being able to do so. Only my younger brother, Ondot, in The Philippines knew that I would be home and he arranged my ride at the airport.

My work contract does not allow vacation on these two big end-of-the-year holidays. Desperately hopeful I thought that the only way I could spend the holiday with my mother if there is an emergency.

Crazy enough in November of 2024, I received a call that my mother will be going for an eye surgery which will be done on the 12th of December. This would be her first procedure experience in her entire life. This should have been done three or four years ago but she kept putting it off. She told me multiple times that when she is ready to get her eyes done, she would love me to be home. This time, her doctor  was firm that her eye surgery has to be done ASAP.

Thankfully, work allowed me to be off for a month.

I am grateful to my father-in-law for giving me money to help with travel expenses. My husband who is always supportive and understanding. Our daughter was happy that I’ll surprise and spend Christmas with my mother just like I always hoped for. The only problem I had was the flight delay that turned into cancellation. I had to reschedule my connecting flights, spent more money on it since I purchased the tickets separately. Lesson learned.

It was an emotional surprise. She did not recognize me until when she heard me giggle. She looked for my daughter who couldn’t come because of school and also I did not have a enough budget for two tickets.

Before surgery, she anxiously could not stop asking questions to the returning patient at the waiting room.

Her surgery was quick. My sister, sister-in-law and myself were with her. We stayed at the hotel near the hospital so the next day would be convenient for the follow-up. We did not need to travel forty five minutes from our house to the city.

When her dressing came off, she blurted at me, “Oh, you have a lot of pimple scars on your face.” We laughed and teary eyed that she now is able to see clearly.

She did not expect that I would be coming home to take care of her.

She was restricted to lift a certain weight of things so I am glad to be around and be of help with anything she needed. She does not stand in the shower but sits to bathe. Bathing at home involves using a large cup (Tabo in Filipino) to scoop water and pour it into the body. My sister and I did not want her to tire herself of doing it, so I got to bathe my mother. It was a privilege to take care of her. She said I am more patient than my sister. LoL

I tried to spend time with her as much as I can. It was fun listening to her childhood stories, and how favorite she is among her siblings to her father. I also learn more about my father which I hope to write down in paper per my daughter’s suggestion.

While I was there, my cousins planned a reunion. Just us cousins and our kids. It was the best party I ever had in my entire life. I wish my daughter was there although I wonder how she would endure the noise and the large number of people at our house where the party was held. We had games, gift exchange and karaoke. A lot of food was brought and shared by everyone. My favorite was the vegetable called Dagmay which is made up of Taro leaves cooked in coconut milk. I am thankful for the neighbors who were patient and did not call the police or Brgy. Tanod to quiet us down. We were done past midnight. I am grateful to see my cousins, nieces and nephews. I hope I can join them again someday.

After the New Year, everything quieted down.  I had one more week before returning to the US. Without being ungrateful or any sense of whining,  I felt that retiring in the Philippines won’t be an option.  I don’t have a concrete decision for the future but I thought about it a lot while I was there. My mother told me that at one time or a few times, I looked unhappy. Those probably were the times when she caught me  being quiet, staring outside contemplating life.

Right now, my life is here in America with my husband and our daughter who when I got home, asked me not again  to be away during Christmas. She said it was lonely. Home felt different. Christmas is different without mom. I guess baking a lot of cookies (before I left) as we traditionally do was not enough to  fill in my absence during the holiday. I also cooked a lot of food  to cover many days while I was away.

Home, USA Nov 2024
Nov 2024

I love my mother, my whole family and I enjoy spending time with them. But it is difficult to say goodbye, I am sad leaving them  while I am excited to return home to my husband and daughter.  It never gets old. It feels the same every visit.

Today, this year, I wish I could go visit my mother, siblings and their kids. They all live close to each other.

But I just spent a trip to the Faroe Islands last month.

I surely miss the food, the surroundings, the smell, the noise and most importantly my mother. She would love me to visit. She said we have plenty of rice, I have a house to stay, and my brother, Ondot, is there whose generosity allowed me a few trips for treats in the city when I was there.

Hopefully, I could go.

Seeing my mom will always be at the right time. I hesitate to mention this to my husband because I just had a trip to the Faroe Islands and as of now, we need our cars fixed. I feel like it is selfish of me to travel when we are having a hard time with our vehicle situation.

I hope I can go.

Photos are from December 2024 to January 2025. I started this blog a long time ago and finally finished it today, July 12, 2026.

Breathe

The anxiety is killing me. I hope I will calm down soon. There is no irritability, no anger, nothing like that. Just worried and overwhelmed. It started yesterday when I had to start packing for my trip to the Faroe Islands. I went upstairs and looked for my kid to give me a hug. Yes, I can be dramatic, call me whatever but a hug works and lessen the anxiousness. Anyway,  I had to change luggage since the smaller size won’t fit everything that I need. I will try again tonight before I head out to work.

The living room is a mess where I have all my stuff for the trip laid out. I hope to get it cleared tonight. Clutter gives me anxiety.

I am happy to get the dishes done and most importantly, I got to eat lunch with our daughter. This is the best part of my day so far.

I got my Real ID application done and got an appointment scheduled with my regular doctor for annual well check up and blood work.

I tried calling multiple times to get a new women’s health practitioner and this one was not successful.  I decided to be in the backyard to breathe. I will be calling after every two weeks to hopefully get an appointment for a new practitioner. I am well. HRT is working great and I am really thankful. I  was just notified that my previous provider is leaving so I need to find a new one. I wonder if I can just have a new practitioner in that same group of health care providers without an appointment since I don’t have any issues at the moment. This will be a good question to ask in two weeks when I call.

The birds are loud. The chipmunks are busy. The parents Robin thought I was going to hurt their baby. I just looked. It is slowly growing.

Time really flew by. The trees are done being bare. There is a lot of shade where I am sitting. It is cool to see a section of ferns on the other part of the trail and a bunch of May Apple on the opposite side. Few Phlox are blooming. The Daffodils have themselves a rest.

I can hear thunder and feel a little bit of sprinkles. I should head up and start cleaning the house. Hopefully, insert a short workout today even in the shortest and simplest form.

If you happen to read this journal, you my friend, have a wonderful day. Stay blessed.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Dirty Kiln Trail Race (Half Marathon)

I can finally scratch this off on my Someday-To-Do List and add it onto my Wanna-Do-It-Again List.

Thank you for this wonderful experience! Excellent organizers and volunteers! Thank you!

Capturing the shoe sucker muddy trail and water crossing was kind of tricky to balance myself. So I missed taking videos on those parts of the course.

I thought it was a lot of mud, enough for my shoes to get sucked in three times and almost fell on my face trying to put it back on.

It has the elevation that rewards you with a beautiful mountain view as you try to catch your breath and calm your crying quads. The downhill brings me fear of slipping and hurting my back.  I never liked them. But I managed and was able to run it. The water crossing was a treat, it washes off the mud and lightens my shoes.   

The race director. When you look at him, he appears to be a serious and quiet guy but once he opens his mouth , he really is funny. Him and his co-race director always do an excellent job.

It was a lot of fun!

45/95 Overall

4th Female

For you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:3

YouTube:

On The Dam Trail 10K Preview – Soul Filling

Gratitude. The attitude I have as I drove home yesterday after our run. I thought, if I am so broken and that brokenness may drag the people  around me into  misery, please don’t prolong, take me into the woods, and there I will pick every piece of me together.

The sunset reflecting on the lake, the trees standing at their magnificent stillness while the ones on the ground  brings you wonder of what story it can tell, the ability to run and hear the pounding crunch on the ground, the sound of catching my breath, the friends ahead of me whose hearts probably have love and hate relationship with running but  chooses to keep hopes and goals alive excited for the upcoming race they signed up for this weekend, and whose minds still playing the same questions why run and still couldn’t find the perfect answer, but, and again continue doing it, all these above and the pretty tiny pink flower beds along the trail are just beautiful. Everything. Beautiful enough to say that the woods are easy. It doesn’t demand anything.  I can come as I am and go back home happy.

Oh This Dam Trail 😁

I think I just wrote the simplest things above that could be an answer of why I/we run.

Sorry Stephanie I have to steal your photos.

I took a picture of this Daffodil when I went back to this trail to flag for the upcoming race.

Easter Morning

It was a wonderful Easter which started early  with a freshly brewed coffee from my husband and a simple dinner with the three of us. It would have been nice to have more loved ones around but our work schedule did not favor everyone. I miss our kid being little, coloring eggs, fake  grass on the basket and egg hunting around the yard. I was excited though to hand her a small basket of things she likes, anything chocolatey.  Thank God for simple things like this, family time and reminding us what really matters. His saving grace. Unmeasurable love. I hope everyone had a Happy Easter.

Newness In This Stage Of Life

I am 45. My list of things that I would love to accomplish before I turn 50 years old is not that long. It includes a great deal of physical and mental strength. I would love to run a 50 Miler, lose 5 to 10 pounds, travel to two states here in the USA, explore the Philippines with my daughter and run a marathon or a 50K there,  hike and run a marathon in Northern Europe. This involves a lot of savings too. Wise spending. Be a good steward of the resources I have.  There are times I doubt that these hopes may be impossible  but my heart and mind are settled patiently and peacefully that it will be done. It may not be sooner but I feel it is happening.

On Bluebird Trail in our backyard.

The only worries I have is I am becoming slow with my training. My lower back pain is bothering me. If I focus on my therapy exercise, it gets better. When I run everyday, it aches, not sharp but annoyingly discouraging. The longest run I have had so far, is 13 Miles. I run at least 3 to 6 miles 3 to 4 times a week, strength training 3 times a week, yoga 2 times a week and I consider 1 of these as my active rest. I don’t wanna be hard on myself. I think I am doing great, even greater when I do my back exercises from therapy.  I just don’t enjoy train running long distances anymore. I would rather run 3 daily miles or two 6 Miles a week and one 9 -10 Miler a week and save the longest run during race day.

I am becoming unmotivated. I feel like my body just wants to rest. Read and look at things online, watch a movie, clean the house a little bit, walk outside and sit/lay on the hammock. Do laundry and work on my online store once in a while.

I changed so much. I want to slow down, take my time. No pressure and less running around doing errands. If I have 10 things on my To-Do-List, I am happy to accomplish 3 for the day and do what is left slowly but surely during the rest of the week.

2026 Daffodils in our backyard.

I also struggle with my eating. This is the hardest challenge. I eat healthy but I eat a lot. I like to cook but some days I dislike spending a lot of time in the kitchen except when we have company coming. I don’t mind cooking my food. I am Asian so I can live with stir fry, fish or egg soup everyday. I tried to cook a lot of brown rice which is good for a week that way all I have to do is reheat it and cook vegetable fish soup to go with it.

I think of working daylight but my patience is getting thin. I am not as patient as I used to be. Nightshift is quiet, less people from management to deal with, no family visitation that will interfere when working with my patients plus less drama with co-workers. I like, love rather what I do. And I am grateful that my husband has a good job, it affords me to work only three nights a week. I get to help with the bills, save for myself and  for our emergency needs.

Backyard snaps.

I also get to save emergency money to fly home, Philippines. I get to buy things I like without asking him. It helps with my running race registrations and running gear spending. I never thought about running registrations to be expensive. My husband is supportive and understanding with this hobby I got addicted to.

Anyway, this newness of myself can be  disheartening. Being unmotivated. Slowing down. Being lazy, I don’t like this word but I honestly feel like this a lot.

In 2024, I felt like a stranger to myself. I needed to re-introduce myself to things I normally do. I was having brain fog, poor memory. It was frustratingr. I was mentally disorganized.  I was forgetting  things. Twice or more, I made double payments on our bills online that resulted in an overdraft.

Nice hide-out done by my husband. Daffodils freshly pick around Bluebird Trail

I researched hormonal changes. I had a hysterectomy in 2022 which was the best decision I ever made. Thank you to my husband who supported me with this. He saw the monthly debilitating agony of my period – severe dysmenorrhea, heavy bleeding, missing work, pale and sunken eyes, uterine polyps removal and new growth over the years. The hysterectomy should have been done early in the 2020s but my heart and mind was not ready. I thought of what if the Lord wants to bless us a little boy. But later on, while I was sick my husband stated, why keep something in your body that prevents you living a normal quality of life.

During recovery I was having depressive episodes. It got worse in six to eight months. It was a painful depressive episode because I could not find any reason to be feeling that way. I went to see my doctor if hormone replacement therapy can help. I was denied. So, I continued doing exercises which I was cleared to do after recovery. I deal with it thru running, Yoga, HIIT, strength training. My diet was the same.

Even with consistent exercise and diet, my body has changed. I feel flab here and there. I felt strong inside. My abdominal strength was still there but the outer view was just different from what I was used to. I never gave up my workout because it mentally helps me. Around 2024, was when everything felt strange and new. I worried and got scared. My mental health concerned me more than the physical changes.

My husband’s hammock… mine too lol

I researched about menopause. I stumbled to this website, NAMS, The Menopause Society and found a Menopause Practitioner. I was shy to tell my symptoms because I don’t wanna sound like a whiner crazy person. I told my practitioner that I feel like a stranger to myself, brain fog, forgetfulness, poor concentration, mentally disorganized, irritating sudden hot sweat. I mentioned the increased appetite and undesirable changes of my body. But my main concern on that appointment was my mental health.

She prescribed me the lowest dose of Estrogen patch twice weekly, and 100mg Progesterone which she said I don’t really need since I don’t have uterus anymore. I don’t see myself not having HRT. It is life changing. Estrogen helps the symptoms I was worried and scared of to go away. I take Progesterone every other day with my practitioner’s advice to help with my sleep.

Regarding my weight, I tend to lose a little bit during the off training season. At this time, I am training for a half marathon and  50k for April, and a marathon for June. I eat more during the training season. I cannot talk about the HRT’s effect on my weight.

Anyway, most days, I just want to take my time. I am not as fast, and motivated to get some chores done quickly like I used to.

I am not giving up. If slowing down means grace, may it help me understand myself, accept and strengthen what I am already blessed with and enable me to consistently move at my own pace. May I find joy even at the slowest and stillest moment without a waste of time.

I had to pick these blooms since they were all knocked down by the heavy rain.

If you happen to read this journal. I hope you share some of your life changes… especially with menopause, how you deal with it or anything particular that this journal speaks to you.

English is not my first language so my vocabulary/grammar sometimes are not right. I feel so much freedom and peace just to write things that matters to me… things (big or small) that I don’t want to forget. I want this to be something to look back to and to be grateful for in whatever circumstance the Lord decides to place me in that future.

God bless you, my friend.

It’s Still A Happy Birthday Here

He is supposed to be 68 years old. Wow! As  far as heartache feels, grieving is something I am grateful about. It keeps me connected to him. It keeps him alive and the memories we had.

Happy Birthday, Itay!

He loved music. We would listen while we cook together and sometimes play the guessing game of who sings the music that is playing. He loved to rest shirtless on our living room concrete floor. His favorite fruit is mango. He enjoyed his past time eating dried salted watermelon seeds. He loved leather boots. He had one that was gifted to him from his brother, our Uncle George who also helped him to get a job as a seaman working in an oil tanker ship traveling around the world. Back to those boots, the outer sole was worn out but he loved it so much that he took it to a shoemaker in the market and replaced the soles using a car tire. It was the most fun and unique looking boots I have ever seen. 

When I was 17 years old, he gifted me a 1940 Made In England Doc Martens boots I am now 45 and I passed those shoes onto my kid and became a favorite. I collected a few both for myself and the kid. I also love the music I grew up listening to with him.

I will never forget.

28 years old this year

It’s still a happy birthday here and I thank God for all the memories.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Philippians 4:4

Daffodils, Spring Is Near

They are still pretty. The fallen Daffodils. I picked the ones knocked down, facing the ground. Stems were mushy from the snow this week. I walked on the trail for a bit.  I just wanted to listen to the quiet. I thought, thirty minutes would be enough to be down here… just to sit or stand still sipping my coffee mixed with cocoa powder and brown sugar.

I looked far ahead, beyond the woods I could see the express way and its traffic. The world is busy, I thought, while I am here not knowing what to do. Surely there is stuff I can do but I don’t know which or where to start.

I was done sipping my coffee. I sat by the bench, on the rocks, by the swing and also watched the uprooted tree that is still standing leaning against another tree. I was calculating which direction it will fall when the wind decides to knock it down. I was safe where I was sitting, it was not windy.  Anyway, I thanked the Lord for a beautiful day and that I decided to head outside, felt the wind and my hair all over my face, and heard the birds singing. I saw a Bluebird and Rufous Sided Towhee. Beautiful creatures. Those birds, Daffodils, Crocuses and Tulips excite me around spring time. They are excited like me. It was time to head back to the house, get the laundry to dry. On my way up, I decided to pick the fallen Daffodils. I thought I had enough but the more I look, I see more that were broken and frail. Now they are sitting on my kitchen window. They look pretty.

We are supposed to have great weather coming up.  I can’t wait to see more blooms in the backyard.

For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land. The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance. Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away. Song of Solomon 2:11-13

For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes what is sown in it to sprout up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to sprout up before all the nations. Isaiah 61:11

A Cup Of Tea

Gratitude.

It was a great day catching up with my friend, sister from another mother.

I was supposed to get my car washed. But the queue was so long I changed my mind. Instead of going straight home, I stopped by to see my dearest friend at their restaurant, the store as she calls it.

I ended up receiving my Christmas present.

Typical Asian women, we were loud asking back and forth how we are doing, the kids and everything. We stood for a little while right where they greet their customers. She offered me tea.

She is back to her spot, the Sushi area and I sat behind the counter. We continued to chat. It was quiet, past lunch time. We talked and laughed a lot. I shared some plans for the year. She shared some hopes and dreams as well.

When I noticed that she was getting more slips of orders to make, I had to leave.

Sue and I don’t see a lot. But when we do, we always have a great meaningful time together. It may be short but it is something that makes me genuinely happy. She is a friend that came unexpectedly. We met through our kids. The kids are grown and don’t hang out anymore but Sue and I remain very good friends. She is the one friend I thank the Lord for. No need to impress to win her. She became my friend unconditionally. What a wonderful person. Beautiful heart and soul. Thank you, Lord!

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

Sick Day

I hate being sick. It feels terrible – body aches, runny nose, headache and chills. A little bit of fresh air does good for my lungs and brain. Light exercises do lessen the body aches and boredom. I feel lazy and tired but I managed to cook a lot of food yesterday which is good for three days. Thank God for a burst of energy and being off from work when this is happening. Hopeful for a better condition tomorrow.

Pain And Humility

Pondering on things from the past week.


Pain can be discouraging. Physical pain. When I didn’t get to meet a goal, it made me question myself. It made me feel  physically less strong. But I had to humbly give in to the pain, make peace with my body and mind. It allows me to rest, and find out what is going on. I had to respect the body’s need to be taken care of. I complained, self-pitied, worried and doubted of how to accomplish the goals I already set for the coming days. I thought it would be easy to cancel when things get worse but I refused to fix my mind in that direction. My moving body is a gift and so is time. This season is maybe to slow down. I am learning to prioritize movement without worrying about how heavy I can lift, or how often and how fast or far I can run, or how much Yoga I can do while dealing with pain. 

Yesterday, I was grateful to run 13 Mile,  slow but able. My back was throbbing but not debilitating. I was able to move. The goal was 6 Miles. As I listened to my body, I felt I could do 7, slowly adding another mile. I tried to increase the speed at 9 Miles but quickly or should I say responsibly got back to a slower pace 😁

It was a good dreadmill run and walk. It reminded me of where exactly my help and strength are coming from, how important it is  to achieve the simple goals I have set my mind and heart into.


I got myself checked and started physical therapy.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Grief

Grief. As sad as it may sound, I am thankful that I get to feel this because I get to experience my father being alive in me. It made me grateful for his life. It was short. I could still see him and feel him. What a bittersweet assurance that he will always be part of my life and will never be forgotten.

(I was doing my yoga when suddenly I felt this deep sadness and thought of my dad. I miss him.)

Holidate With My Husband

This is just a quick note that I have to do because yesterday was special. I enjoyed my husband. Our time and I don’t want to forget.

This will be a mixed collection of photos from yesterday and some things that matter to him.

Yesterday was Columbus Day. I am off for a few nights and he is on holiday.

He loves to work in the yard which he did the other day. He cleared or should I say made a new trail for me in our backyard.

One of the trails he cleared last weekend. More photo inserts later in this journal.

We finally got a break, I wanna call it a “holidate”.

I am glad it rained before we left the house. It was drizzling while we were having breakfast.

He can be really funny. At least the jokes he had yesterday were different from the ones he has for two decades…. only intended for when the kids (now adults) are around.

We packed our coats and trail shoes.

Putting on his trail shoes.

The forest was vibrant. Thanks for the rain for making everything around us look vivid. We couldn’t count how many grey squirrels we have seen. It was like a festival for those creatures. They were not bothered that we were around.

Our hike

He picked some acorns and unusual looking nuts for his chipmunk friend, Louie, who lives close to our house.

He fed the birds daily, watching them while he sips his morning coffee before getting ready for work. Then Louie would run to the bottom of the bird feeder and eat,  gather some seeds.

Louie according to my husband,  and this may sound weird, recognizes his voice.

Louie
Louie
The parent bird is feeding the baby.

Oriole

My husband…. I know  I am supposed to journal quick and short but when I remember something I want to write it down so I won’t forget and maybe someday our kid will be interested in reading some of this stuff.

We have a groundhog here that my husband gave a name to. Bert. One morning he called me to check the apple trees specifically the one with the ladder. There was Bert sitting on the second step of the ladder. I said to my husband that soon Bert will be climbing up to that apple tree and it did happen. Lol Bert would climb up, pick an apple and run down the ladder. I wish I knew how to insert links of videos here. I thought it was cute and funny.

https://youtube.com/shorts/jMFKUzQKx8c?si=HvgroquA3-B1kPXm

Bert

Anyway, we had a great time hiking in the woods. It was fun watching him get excited about trees.  He tried to carve our names on a particular tree but failed.

We got out of the trail and kept walking, checking the place we were at. We drove to town for dessert. We were still full from our breakfast. A few restaurants were closed which is not surprising for Mondays. We walked around again, and ended up at a consignment store. We both got clothing for our kid. I did not buy any jewelry but opted for an old real leather purse. We got excited to see an antique furniture shop so we hurriedly went in but got out right away due to the awful dog poop smell. We laughed it out. Walked again looking for a place to sit and ended up at another antique consignment store where I had to buy a beautiful vintage real silver ring, maybe blue topaz or aquamarine.  We were offered some orange filled chocolate cookies which we thankfully refused. We explored the town center and finally found a place to eat. An older lady came up to us while we were eating. She was genuinely nice. Very happy. She would pat my arm and my husband’s while she was talking to us. She was with her three sisters whom she does not  get to see all the time. She was trying to excuse the noise they were making in case it was bothering us. My husband and I enjoyed her conversation. It was a fun encounter.

I think the waitress heard me when “the kid inside of me” told my husband that my peanut butter pie does not look like what’s in the picture. Lol. She came to our table with a small plate filled with peanut butter Reese’s Cups.  I still wanted it to look like the picture.

Anyway, this was the first time we were out together (without me running a race) since our kid started college.

I love you, Honey! Kisses. Hugs.

As a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. Ephesians 1:10

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ephesians 3:12

How Did Laurel Highland Fall Classic 50K Go With Myself?

Laurel Highland Fall Classic 50K
The race for this season.
It started rough. At Mile 8, I felt miserable. It angered me that everything was not in sync. I was moving fine at my comfortable pace. But my heart and mind were not in tune with my feet.


I got lost twice before AS1. At least the second time, no one was following behind me.


I dismissed the mental chaos and literally sought something pleasing around me.
I don’t like downhill. I actually fear it . But when my feet carried me through it, it brought me gratitude.


Gratitude pushed me to the finish line.
I was reminded in every satisfying crunch on the leaves that I was there to have fun. I slowed down and enjoyed my runs on flat surfaces and hiked the elevated areas. I love the quiet of the mountains. Its different appearances in every section are beautiful. I appreciate the people, the quick interactions and encouragements from fellow runners, hikers we met along the trail, the volunteers and organizers. Thank you for a wonderful event.
Kisses to my husband who gave me his Saturday to be with me.

Thank you, Lord!

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.


Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,  gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

Almost Hit A Deer

I got there in time for my appointment only to realize that my practitioner is not around and I will be seeing a different one. As soon as she entered the room, she told me that she knows nothing about me which is true and I ended up liking her. But after the appointment, I’d made sure to be written on the chart that I only want to see the practitioner I have since the start. Overall, it was a good appointment.

I went on the trail before heading home. It was a beautiful day and I wanted to be outside. It was just a quick walk.

On my way home, a buck crossed the road. I was surprised. I could hardly notice him. Around this time, autumn, their color changed to darker. I slowed down which I am glad I did because another one came out from the woods running after the first one. I almost hit the second deer. I got scared. My focus got interrupted. I continue driving without noticing the speed limit. All I could think of were those deer. I was talking to myself. I realized I was driving real slow so I pushed the gas a little bit and started changing lanes without checking the mirrors and I heard a honk. I almost hit a car on my right. I was so embarrassed and freaking out again. I watched a finger ahead of me in the air and more hand movements. The hand gesture looks so loud that I could imagine how mad the driver is. It was my fault. I did not get angry about the finger. I deserved it. 

This incident made me pay more attention to the road, it tested my patience. I am grateful that I did not have an accident or cause any accident. I almost did but no accident happened.

I made it home safe.

Thank you, Lord!

Grace, Gratitude, Recovery Walk After Hyner Trail Challenge

My favorite spot when journaling.

I love spring time. The green grass, the purple and yellow tiny flowers, Daffodils, Dandelions and the birds brings me gratitude.

We had a few Hyacinth early April and Tulips too (light pink ones are my favorite) but did not get the chance to bloom. These flowers seem to be the sweetest delicacy of the wild animals  around here. I enjoyed a lot of them  and even got a spring surprise long time ago.  Tulips were blooming under the trees that my husband secretly planted before that year. (I had to write down the memories that come to mind even if it does not pertain to today’s intention).

The birds,  (streams, and waterfall) stop me from wearing earbuds. It makes me feel guilty. The sounds of nature are too  beautiful and relaxing to ignore. I always think it is a real treat. It feels good mentally and emotionally.

Cherry Blossom Tree
Cherry Blossoms

Anyway, I walked two loops around the yard. We have a nice very short trail in the back. I was down here last week when tapering. (Daffodils were in full bloom). My body was anxious about the upcoming race. I feel stiff all over and walking three miles twice that week helped.

The backyard around Easter Week is my favorite, and this year, race day is happening in that same week.

I kind of celebrate Holy Week down here. It all started in 2022 when I was recovering from surgery and dealing with depressive episodes.

I talk to myself here, to the Lord, take photos and videos, and pick Daffodils.

Daffodils from last week

I cooked a simple Easter dinner just for the three of us. I couldn’t do more in the kitchen and we couldn’t have guests because I know I will be tired and hobbling around the house after the race.

Easter Sunday 2025

Anyway, today was perfect for a recovery walk  (even with sore thighs and calves but more on my thighs. My upper back is getting better). The sun was shining. A Bumble Bee kept buzzing around me. 

When I was down here last week, I prayed for the Lord to be with me, to lift my feet up, not to be afraid, to calm my heart, to finish the race happy and injury free, to give me wisdom, understanding and humility when stopping would be necessary before something worse can happen.

Today, I thank Him for His goodness. For being with me the entire time even when it was difficult, for the fruit of the Holy Spirit and that there is No One Like Him…. because if there is I won’t be where I am supposed to be and I would have missed so much in life.

My faith is very important to me and I cannot not acknowledge the Lord.

I hope, you my friend who happen to stumble on this journal, will have a wonderful day and God bless you abundantly.

Daffodils today.

P.S. English is not my first language but I write for my child (and for my future very old self) in case she wants to know more about me…. not that we don’t have a great relationship because we do. Thank God for daily patience and outpouring kind of love that makes it easier to spread out to the ones I love and care the most.

Clematis

She definitely will understand what my heart and mind is expressing. She is my kid. She does worry though if someday I lose my memory and will speak only Waray-waray, my native dialect which she wants to learn more, not Tagalog alone (Philippines national dialect).

Anyway, my journal ends here. Photos are from today taken around 11 a.m. before the rain.

Apple trees.

Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34:8 

Even though I walk in the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and Your staff will comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6

Beautiful Maine, ANP

Short journal of our trip. July 2024

We spent days in Bar Harbor – stargazing, nature cruise, short hike, ran twice, drove at nearby towns, ate a lot, road trip to Portland, tried potato donuts (I ate most of it), the little one got her first taste of crab cake and got GI issues later that night but she did alright. I wish we could have hiked more but my company was not a fan of sweating and putting her legs to work. We stopped at two bookstores, so she was happy. Stargazing was her highlight of this trip. A porcupine joined in. We never saw stars that close until Acadia. It felt like we were in a planetarium. I couldn’t get good pictures of them. I did not know how to work my camera. I love lighthouses and we saw six. Watching sunsets/sunrises is my favorite thing to do and I am very happy to do that in Cape Elizabeth. Running with that scenery was a real treat. Driving a keyless vehicle and all the new technology was a great learning experience. When I got the keys, I freaked out. I did not know what button to push for reverse Lol. Thanks to Google and I did not have to use the gadgets/wires I packed. Journy got it all figured out. After a while I got it. We definitely had a wonderful time. I love it that she still sits on my lap before we go to bed. Very soon she will be out for college.Thank God for times like this. 🙂❤️

We are grateful for God’s provision so we can enjoy simple things in life.

Pray for everything, something, little thing, big thing, anything. God is good, all the time.

Rock ‘N The Knob 50K 2024 Breaking The Will Of All Those Who Dare Try

This race was a torturous ordeal. Definitely the hardest challenge I ever did. Physically painful and mentally challenging. Rock N The Knob Breaking The Will Of All Those Who Dare Try 50K 2024 was described as it was when I signed up. I cannot blame the RD for what he put me/us through. Lol

It was a lot of repetitive uphill and downhill. A little break on level ground was good but only for a short while, then were back uphill and downhill again. It felt endless. Nothing was easy.

At around 22 Miles (I think this far) my one leg was in so much pain when going downhill but fine running on level ground and uphill. I thought, “Okay, I have a working leg that is in so much pain”. Right away, I made peace with myself that I will be okay if I can’t make it at my set time which is to hopefully finish between 8 or 8 1/2 hours. It is what it is. I started moving sideways in every downhill with the help of a stick that I found earlier. Lateral steps downhill worked. It was hard. It was comfortably tricky. I felt and looked weird. But I was grateful to be able to keep going even in that position. It was humbling. The pain going downhill did not stop that I would rather go for uphill. I know uphill is hard too but there were no other options on the table and I kind of wished (at least in my head) that I can pick my hard even when it is already decided how the course is supposed to be. I prayed for no more downhill but then, “God! Downhill again!”, “Seriously! Come on!” I started doubting myself and thought, “I think this right here is not for me.” I quickly picked myself up, calmed my head, and prayed. Instead of “I can do this!”, I prayed, “We can do this, Lord!” Psalm 23:4

I never let go of the stick and embraced the sideway movements in every downhill. I saved my mental space only for spiritual strength, believing in myself, and to keep going for there was still time and the day was not yet over.

This is Stiddy. My stick buddy.

I reached the finish line in 9 hours and 17 minutes! 26th overall and Top 3 finish women. How cool is that!

I am beat and everything hurts. All that is left in me is gratitude.

Thank you, Lord!

Congratulations to all of us who dared try! Who voluntarily and paid to be victimized! We are crazy people!

Thank you Benjamin J Mazur and Janice Hartkorn for an amazing event! Thank you volunteers for cheering us on, for checking that we have what we needed and for making sure we are heading on the right trail. Thank you Kristie for chasing us and directing us back when we got lost.

It was wonderful (and made me happy) seeing Stephanie D., Carl L., Ray G. and Sean H. and other familiar faces from JRC. Leslie H., it was great meeting you again. Thank you food guy for the best meal! I smelled the aroma in the woods and I knew I was heading to the finish line.

Thoughts:

That slightest faith was consuming that it took me to new heights.

Doubts were blinding that it could have prevented me from even  trying.

When I made peace with myself to accept ahead of time whatever outcome it may be, I ran with my heart, grateful for being able to enjoy the mountains and being encouraged and vice-versa with fellow runners. When a burst of strength, energy  came over me, I ran harder.

Right in the midst of a difficult hurdle I chose what is good mentally, physically and spiritually. I was able to focus on moving until I reached the finish line. It was followed with so much gratitude and happy tears.

Afterhthoughts

Husband’s thoughts: He thinks I should stay on the road because of how much agony I was in the next day.

Daughter’s thoughts: She wonders what happened to the wooden stick after sharing my story about the race and said that I should keep it. She was relieved when I told her, the wooden stick is in the car, will be kept/preserved and will he placed where my running swags are.

More thoughts: I am not an experienced trail runner. RNTK is my 3rd 50K and the hardest one I participated in. I don’t have anything to compare it to.  Would it be improper to jokingly say that I feel scammed or tricked? I did not expect it to be that difficult. It  would have been nice if it was 75% hard and 25% fun. But it was 1000% hard. I did not regret anything about it though. I will refuse to be refunded if I was given that option because the experience came with a lot of greatness. The struggle and perseverance, the people – volunteers, cheers, darers and master mind behind this agonizing race, has been puzzled together to become an experience of a lifetime, my story that is worth keeping and a reminder of what I am capable of. This, when given the opportunity at certain conversations, will always be proudly shared again and again. (I just had to add these thoughts to my blog because I don’t want to forget).

StiDDY, my stick buddy.

Even though I walk in the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and your staff they comfort me.  Psalm 23:4