It was a difficult 17 Miles with few hills, parking lots, back and busy roads. My body wanted to quit at Mile 9 while I was wishing for 20 Miles. Everything hurts. My hips down to my toes felt heavy. Talking to myself and listening to music helped me to keep going. Only 3 more miles to make my wish come true but I am at peace and satisfied with what I accomplished today. I enjoyed my snacks and pauses. There’s really nothing to whine about, it was a beautiful day! Thank you, Lord!
I am slowly training my mind and body for this year’s races. I signed up for two 50K. I would like to do the three but I am saving a room for the third one in case I will be willing to tackle a harder challenge before the year ends.
Today is my first registered 5K and the weather is calling for a snow storm. I worry. I fear driving through it. But just like everything, having faith, taking it slowly and safely will take me to this race.
Have a blessed weekend!
Carpe Diem!
:) Chelle
May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. 2 Thessalonians 3:5
I ran at the cemetery today. I’ve seen people visiting their loved ones graveyard. I don’t want to be dramatic, but I felt sadness. It is difficult to understand and to feel how they must be feeling celebrating this Christmas. I don’t want to overthink it because people handle grief differently. I thought of time, how I wasted so much time and how life is short. My head kept thinking. I cannot foresee what is to come. Even with how detailed the blueprint is being laid out, I still cannot control everything – the people, the circumstances. I ended up praying because that’s the only thing I can do when I think and care about people I don’t know. It is crazy how humans can care for strangers. I may not be able to hug them, but in some way I can see and hear them. Weird. Good kind of weird. I prayed to keep ourselves out of misery in trying to fully understand everything, to help us enjoy the promise of peace, and not to be afraid when sadness occurs, and to remind us daily that the Lord is good Who loves us first. I prayed and this I may not need to ask because He is good at this, that He holds everyone in His love and that He will love them just like how He loves me.
he Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 34;18
Those memories of my father always come through when I hear the music he used to like.
He started working abroad as a seaman when I was around eight or nine years old. Only when he was on vacation did we get to see him. And those were short vacations.
Sadly at 47 years old, pancreatic cancer took his life. The symptoms got worse around May 2006, we all did not know exactly what was going on except the abdominal pain and the abrupt weight loss. He always passed his medical exam before embarking for work. Last few weeks of September, he was flown out from the oil tank ship where he was working as oil pumpman. In October of that year, he was gone. These bits and pieces that just popped in my head are not related to my journal’s main content but I had to jot it down. Maybe someday, my daughter and my siblings’ kids may stumble upon this post. At least they will know a little bit about their Grand Tatay/Lolo (grandfather).
Okay, back to where I should be heading.
He loved different music genres.
When he and I cook together or hang out eating peanuts from “Kanda Lago” or pumpkin seeds, we would compete/guess who the artist of the song that was playing.
A lot of times I would see him lie down on our shiny waxed red concrete floor cooling himself while listening to his music.
He had collections of Billboard cassette tapes, CDs and VHS music videos which he unselfishly shared with friends and family. His job afforded him his music collections/entertainment.
He never played an instrument but he got me a keyboard and he was ecstatic to hear me play a song (I hope I can remember that song) and asked me to play it multiple times. When he got my mom’s Gibson guitar (which in the long run I accidentally sat on and ruined), I learned how to play it and started writing lyrics/music.
We would watch Guns N Roses, Aerosmith, Beatles, Michael Jackson, Bee Gees, ABBA and a lot more. He loved Sinead O’connor, Celine Dion, Bonnie Tyler, Roxette, Air Supply, Def Leppard, Smokie, Jon Bon Jovi. There were tons.
My favorite song in high school was When The Children Cry by White Lion.
When I was in college, he came home with a new collection of Metallica and Nirvana. I really did not pick up on all of their songs but there are few that I like.
Today, on our way to antique shopping, our teenage daughter played Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana in the car. That’s one of the songs my father and I used to listen to. It was nostalgic and the picture of him cooling himself on our shiny red waxed concrete floor appeared in my head.
I glanced at our daughter who was seated on the passenger’s side. It made me happy sharing music together and seeing myself as the parent this time…. just like with my Dad when I was her age.
As I am about to end this journal, I get teary eyed thinking of him. It is sad that my siblings and I got to spend time with him only during vacations. Those were our teenage years but thank God for memories. They are good. Sad. But it feeds my soul with happiness. It keeps him alive.
Anyway, I just wanted to right away write down supposedly a short simple details that remind me of Itay (father in The Philippines) as it appears in my head. I refuse to forget. When I am old and start to forget, hopefully this journal will bring back memories, joy and gratitude for the life I lived.
I should be done writing /talking.
Have a wonderful night to you who happened to stop by and read this journal. It’s time for me to get up. It’s 10pm and I have to be at work very soon.
But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. Luke 2:19
Thumbs up when you realize that you don’t have to have everything because you have what you need and you have peace even when around you is not perfect. Or it could be high fives in the air even when you worry because you care, you love; and celebrate when fear strengthens your faith and makes you hopeful about the future. If alone time means becoming clear headed, and finding joy in the present, I will take it all the time.
This is yesterday’s three mile walk powered by Chicken Nuggets :)
“… whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8
What do you think about when you run? I think a lot of my childhood. Most of it is sad. Thankfully, I did not end up to be an angry person. I have forgiven. I have chosen peace. My life is blessed, I am content.
Maybe I cannot totally forget because it affected my self esteem growing up, but as I got older I realized its positive impact. It strengthened me. It lightened my perspective in life. It guided me in decision making.
My faith has a lot to do with who I am, what I become and what I hope to be while living.
It could have been hard to love, to do what is right and to conquer all the good things that God laid out for me if I didn’t know how much I am loved. He loves me first.
These reckoning resulted after a good run and I posted these thoughts in my running community which probably is not the place to share, and with no intention to preach.
When running allows me to have peace, meditate, to be grateful, to realize how many times I rose above hardships, renewed with a positive spirit which benefits not only myself but also the people around me, I think it is worth the share.
Without judgment, I love to hear people’s stories, their outlook in life, the battles they’ve won or lost, how they overcome and what brings them joy.
Running is meditation. A time to connect with myself. To discover. To praise. A privilege in its simplest form to enjoy my life, my alone time.
If you manage to read this whole post let me tell you that your life matters and you are loved.
God bless you! I hope you have a great weekend. Enjoy your life.
Carpe Diem!
Chelle
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8
We often rush to things and end up missing the best plan that the Lord has in-store for us. I understand we were not promised perfection. When we are asked to be still, wait for the Lord, it is when our character is building so we can be enough to get hold and even conquer God’s favor.
I am supposed to finish my house chores but these came through my mind and thought of our eldest son. I don’t want to keep it to myself so I sent it to him, maybe he needs it today.
I hope you my friend who happens to read this short post, will have a wonderful day. God bless you always! Chelle 🙂❤️
Post 3 Mile walk, showing a happy face being able to get out. I did grocery shopping then walked nearby.
Some days I just want to stay in the house, I would just sit around with my phone, cook a little or reheat left overs for my loved ones, sweep the floor because it makes the house look new, drink tea/hot cocoa, lay on the couch more and watch Netflix.
That day, I made it outside and it was good.
Joining a challenge like A Mile A Day is motivating.
It takes a lot of discipline to consistently keep ourselves in the right direction, and challenges, which I do monthly for myself, are really helpful. It keeps me accountable. It does not have to be intense exercises. Walking or running at slow pace teaches me patience.
A lot of time I am a just-get-it-done person, but I need to teach myself to slow down which is a mental challenge that actually is good for the body, take one day at a time, to be humble and accepting on days when I can only do a little.
Sometimes little things are all I need to have a great day.
He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Isaiah 30:29
Hallelujah even here! The place of a hard challenge where fun can be miserable, the moment of test, a journey to self discovery and a privilege to an experience of a lifetime.
I arrived early in the morning. Nervous. Anxious. I grabbed my phone so I can listen to music, divert my attention. The song, Hallelujah Even Here came on and more songs followed. I said my prayer and rested in my car for a little bit while waiting for day light to come.
It was an out and back course, Red and Green Trail. The red trail was very difficult.
Two nights before the event, I doubted myself that it took the excitement away and discouraged my hopeful spirit. I can’t thank my JRC friends enough for lifting my spirit up, for believing in me that I can do it.
At the start I run/walk along with the group while observing where the markers are and coming back I was mostly by myself. It was so quiet that I enjoyed the sounds of the rocks every water crossing and even the crunch of corn chips lol. I heard a loud grunt and thought somebody was on my back and fell over, it was a young black bear on top of the hill. I probably woken the creature up. I almost took a trip on a snake right on the trail. I kept going. Snakes terrify me and I don’t want it to keep appearing in my head.
I swallowed a bug and peed myself when I tried to cough it out. I couldn’t get rid of it, so I followed it with a drink.
I got so much pain on the outer side of my left knee, stopping and stretching helped ease the pain. Hydration was good but I am not sure with my nutrition, I ate too many snacks and ended up with LBM at home and wanting to puke. I have a lot to learn.
I think this is the longest distance fitting for myself. Will I do this specific race/event again, I am not sure. I am hoping not because the climb was a lot. I am being honest to myself and I am not complaining because it was all worth it.
The view was beautiful, the strength I thought I didn’t have and my faith took me to the finish, the Lord’s grace, my family, JRC’s encouragement and believing in me helped to keep going, the organizer and volunteers, made it to be a beautiful experience of a lifetime. All that’s left in me is gratitude.
Thank you for the “pierogi men”my favorite station! I love to see all the good food on their table.
The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.” Zephaniah 3:17
Even though I walk in the darkest valley, I will fear no evil for You are with me. Your rod and your staff will comfort me. Psalm 23:4
It is my dream to do a 50K this year. I found one for October but with our child’s school concert, signing up won’t be happening. She only has three concerts left and next year she will be in college.
So, last week I was able to run my first 50K . It was enough to make me happy. The plan was to get 20 Miles. I started on the road, but as soon as the fog cleared out I headed into the woods. I skipped the trail that leads to the deepest part of the forest. It creeps me out being there without the sight of the road down below or the glistening sign of the lake. I won’t mind if I have company but working nightshift and not having a regular schedule is hard for me to make arrangements for.
It was challenging. I thought of my running friends who worked/ing so hard for their goals and achievements. I thought of Christ’s forty days and forty nights in the desert. I am not Him but for one day, with hydration and nutrition, the faith and courage, I knew I could make it. I thought of my Dad, that day was his 16th death anniversary. I couldn’t dedicate that 50k challenge for him because deep inside of me, the struggle and testing was purposely intended for myself. I thought of my husband on how he could easily picked me up if I ran on the road. It was hard. I started listening to music which lessened the misery and helped me to keep going. I also thought of how hikers get lost and not found. Could it be from disorientation or hallucination resulting from dehydration and hunger? I talked to myself too as a self check, “The leaves are green and some are yellow”, “It’s a stick, not a snake!” “Those are roots, not snakes.”
I got done at 32 Miles in less than 8 hours. As soon as I reached my car, I sat down (my legs and body were shaking) and took a few selfies, grabbed a drink and a handful of candy, called home to let them know I was done and ordered pizza so I could pick it up on my way home, and drove off…. then I realized I forgot to stop my watch. I don’t like it when I do that especially for my first ever longest distance. I wanted to keep the exact record. Thankfully, I captured my watch (during selfies) that shows its time and distance I finished.
Until now, I am finding it crazy how I resorted to running for mental/overall health but then tired myself out physically and mentally. I know fellow runners understand what I mean. I think we are just a bunch of weirdos.
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, Romans 5:3-4
I felt the need not to go straight home after church.
My husband will not miss me… maybe he will when he gets hungry. Our daughter won’t be needing me because she is with her friends.
Lunch is cooked, it’s chicken adobo. Rice and boiled potatoes were cooked yesterday. Chocolate chip cookies were baked as well. So really, they won’t need me today.
While I was getting ready for church, our daughter asked for gas money. I gave her the grocery/pay-the-bills card. I forgot I have a little bit of cash I could have given her, then she was out of the door. When I was ready to leave the house, there was my husband looking for his wallet and told him to look under the pile of papers on the dining table. The house finally got quiet. I was out by the door and there was our kid, still in the drive way fiddling in her car, I thought… never mind, I gave her a goodbye kiss. Now I can leave, no not yet, there he was again, my husband popped his head out of the kitchen door and yelled out asking if I saw his wallet. I walked up back to the house, handed him my spending money card, gave him a kiss, a look of “I don’t know what to do with you”, and we laughed at each other for how crazy our day is going.
The message, Solid Foundation series, at church was great and I am glad I went.
We had the Church Fall Festival. They have games for the kids and good food. Farm animals are present too. It was my first time to touch a baby cow and a giant goat. When I was a kid our neighbor had six small goats. Mana Usit, the lady neighbor’s name will put them on a leash, walk them up to the grassy hill called Batog and leave them there all day. In the afternoon, she will bring them back to her house. They were small in size. When it comes to cows, kids were afraid of them. We didn’t go near them especially when you are wearing red-colored clothing. We were told they hate that color. Now that I am older, I learned that cows are colorblind to red.
Anyway, this is how I always end up when I am supposed to only write a short journal about the short trip at the lake today…. ahhh I did not know where to put a comma in between this whole sentence. Lol.
For some reason, when I remember things as I journal, I have to write it down, for our daughter. Maybe someday she will find the time to read some of these write ups and learn more about me, my childhood and other stories that I probably miss sharing.
So, what’s up with the strong tagging on my heart to just head to the lake. I asked myself what’s the purpose of driving up there. Why should I be walking today without my comfortable shoes? I felt it had to be today. I hoped for a good reason. I did not want to waste my day.
After 1.6 Mile of walking, I reached my favorite spot. There was a couple fishing. They were okay to share the spot. I did ask first. They were close to the water while I was at the upper level on the bench, so I was not really disturbing them. We talked about the place, it’s their favorite spot too. We wonder about the person named on the bench. He must love fishing we thought. We laughed at how they criticize each other, the wife must have tried four times putting the bait right. They introduced me to their puppy. We got startled by the falling acorn everywhere. Then we got quiet.
I enjoyed the birds cawing, the chipmunks noise and its scraming movement, the bloop sound in the water, the wind swaying the leaves and making them fall. I took my boots off and savored the quiet. It was good. Refreshing. As sappy as it may sound, I found joy in it. I loved nature’s sound. It made me grateful and appreciative. It made me calm.
Then it was time for me to leave. I thanked the couple for allowing me to share the spot and wished them a wonderful day.
On the road, I saw people riding their bikes, walking their dogs, a family of four going for a walk and vehicles with their kayaks/bicycle on top. I heard people laughing at themselves for being lost, some argued in which direction they should have been heading, some waved and said their “hi”, “hello” and “what a beautiful day”.
I needed that walk, and to be able to sit still in my favorite spot. It was a simple reminder that I don’t have to exert a lot of energy, time , no need to sweat or spend money to be happy.
It was the silence, nature’s offering, the human interaction from simple waves and hellos that filled up myself with joy on that ordinary unplanned trip to the lake.
Thank you, Lord for a good day!
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
I took a rest day from cross training and running. One hour walk by the lake treated us with this cool scene. We wonder if the Osprey’s feet were stuck or if the fish was too big to fly home. The bird ended up letting the fish go.
It was the hardest 10K I have ever done. As I crawled/climbed up, I thought of not doing it again. Going up was difficult and so was going down. The choice I had was to keep going and not to fall.
I twist my ankle multiple times and get a brush burn when trying to climb over a fallen tree. Thankfully, I took my friend’s advice to wear trail shoes. I have never been on that trail and I have been wearing regular shoes on the trails I have been running.
It does make me feel proud of myself that I made it. Even in the midst of misery crawling my way up, it made me thank the Lord for strong legs, lungs and heart, and the positive mindset to just go out there take the challenge.
I wished to finish in 1:30 and hoped to get it done with no falls and injuries. I made it safe and reached my goal.
Will I do it again? The food, the swag, the view were fantastic. The course was difficult and whoever designed it was crazy. I think that made us crazy too, we signed up for it.
If I do it again, I would like (hope) to try the longer distance.
Thank God for a beautiful day! Or else it would be a different story.
I will always be grateful for friends to share this experience.
Anyway, ‘Twas A Miserably Fun Race
It was a perfect weather and a very well organized event. It was great to see my friends run it too.
During the last few miles I got leg cramps and it was harder running down on the slopes but I can’t complain because I had so much fun.
It is crazy how something difficult that requires so much hard work, mentally and physically can be fun.
I believe that the love of this sport keeps a runner committed even when gracefully miserable. Gracefully miserable… when you start praying for more strength, complaining of discomfort, wondering why you signed up for this and realizing that only crazy people will do what you are doing.
Amidst misery you pick yourself up and listen to what your body tells you on how to reach the finish line. You may go at a fast or slow pace. The ones who win the crown are the ones who do not give up.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…” Romans 5:3-4
What I love after winter and all summer is being able to pick flowers outdoors. Free flowers all summer long. Coming home with a bouquet completes my day. The walk and alone time with nature is a bonus. These flowers right here from my mom’s garden. I had to ask if I could bring some home and she let me. These are simple things that bring me joy.
This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
I dreamt of finishing at 4:30. My goal was to finish within 5 hours. But my heart and mind were at peace to just finish the race injury free and happy.
I did not run the whole 42K. During my training, I knew at what distance my legs would get tired, so I was mindful of that. I started walking and running intervals when I felt my legs were getting tired, to avoid cramps and getting stiff. I endured and finished successfully from one traffic light or street light to the next. The hardest part was at 25 to 26 miles where the bigger crowd were, the screaming cheers kept me running to the finish line.
The whole community of Pittsburgh was wonderful, everyone was heartwarming and involved. My favorite spectators were the kids specifically this one little boy by the waiting shed at the park playing his toy drum set for the runners. The crowd were great motivators. I will never ever forget. I won’t mind running the same event there someday.
I carried my own bottle and 2 granola bars. I am not used to gels and I cannot take caffeine. I got refills along the way.
Training helped a lot. It gave me strength and made me believe in myself that I can do it because of the hard work I put in. If something wrong could have happened, my heart and mind were prepared for it too.
One week before the race, I was very nervous. I got very anxious although I was excited at the same time. Two days before as I sat on the couch, I stumbled on Psalms 23:4 (I had to write this down as part of my journal because my faith is part of who I am). It calmed me down. I held on to that and uttered it with my prayers and during my runs. This may sound funny but I do talk to the Lord even on my regular runs. I would say, “We can do this, Lord!” especially when running uphill. LOL
Thankfully, I did not have cramps but normal tiredness and sore leg muscles, more on my thighs.
It was a miracle to see my husband handling himself very well in the crowd. He thinks I am a different woman after making it to the finish line. Our daughter did not want to hug me at the end because I was sweaty and sticky to touch. She thought I did not smell too bad unlike when I ran in the woods or country roads back home.
It was a very humbling experience. The struggle as I run made me ponder on a lot of things. It made me grateful for the body I have (that I sometimes complain about). It carried me through this challenge. My family is not into this type of thing but it becomes a family thing that day. I am thankful for my running club, JRC. I love the camaraderie and encouragement. I thought of my friend, Kat, who started all this when she invited me to my first 5k in 2015. I got hooked.
I realize that this hobby can be quite expensive. I may have to work full time to support myself… but it is well worth it.
I am very happy to experience my first marathon in Pittsburgh, PA. I think, I will do it again there.
Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
Some days she would tell me, “You look like a typical white soccer mom”, “You look like a regular mom”, “I like your hair that way, you don’t look like 50”, and today she said, “You’re a nice looking Asian woman.”
These are one of her responses whenever I asked her how I look when we have to get out of the car or stop by the store after picking her up from school. I thought it sounded funny how direct she can be.
She would tell me if she likes my make up. She would rate my outfit from 1-10. Honestly, I would come to her to hear what she thinks if I need a little fixing here and there for certain occasions. She does the same, she would come to me to know what I think about what she is wearing or planning to wear.
It is actually fun just to learn and discover what she likes and most importantly the laughter it brings from whatever she has in mind and comes out from her mouth.
On a daily basis though, I just wanna be comfortable. I am not picky.
The first route where I was was too foggy and I did not feel safe to run on that road. I had to turn around and change my route.
It did not matter if I had to go in circles on the same route as long as I could see the traffic.
I actually have 3 places in mind when I told my husband where to run, and the one I ended up with were not on those three options. But I ran where I felt very safe, close to home and my daughter could locate me through an app when needed.
My thighs are still tired (not sore anymore) from the marathon last week but I did pretty good today. It was a mother’s day treat for myself.
I ran uphill, downhill and happily finished a 10K. The sky started clearing up as I almost hit the target distance.
I am in bed but couldn’t sleep. I am excited and a little bit nervous at the same time. I hope it will be a great experience.
God bless my mind and body so I can finish the marathon injury free, happy and with the desire to do it again.
Our daughter asked me how far I am with the book that she challenged me to read three weeks ago. Upon seeing where I am, she suggested to get a box of tissues ready.
For someone who dislikes reading, I finished the book in 4 days within 3 weeks.
She got excited when I told her how more captivating it is to read than watching a movie.
My plan was to watch the movie just so I won’t miss the good stuff she told me about this book. I can read the subtitles when I need to catch up or understand every detail. It concerned her that sometimes or maybe most of the time subtitles are not written right. She said it won’t help with my grammar and vocabulary plus she thinks (when she was 8 years old) I would be wasting “something” in my life when I don’t read a book.
She was very happy and I guess proud that I finished this book. I love how we discussed it in the car.
I realize now why she does not want to be bothered when she is reading. I felt the same way when I started reading this book.
Anyway, I just wanted to write this simple happening because I don’t want to forget. This is one of the simple things that our daughter and I can look back to someday.
I thanked her for this challenge.
Jotting Down Grace 