I just want to write a little note on something simple and not a big deal… just to jot down the joy when I see this little tree at the thrift store. It was all twisted and stuck in the bottom. As soon I saw it, I knew that this is the cutest thing and I started straightening the branches while babbling with my mom-in-law of how cute and nice it is. It reminded me of the song, “little Christmas Tree, no one to buy you. Give yourself to me, la la la la la” (I don’t know the lyrics).
Thrift stores are always a happy place for me. It is where I can see old things that remind me of childhood and to find this little tree is a treat.
Anyway, it was only 99ยข and it got me excited. Even the cashier had a huge smile on her face that she wrapped it carefully while the fragile mugs and frames that she already rang could be bagged first.
I just thought that little things in their simplest form can brighten your day. Being that it is a Christmas Tree, makes it more special. I don’t want to sound “Hallmarky” but there is something about the Christmas spirit that makes you appreciate and anticipate good things and happy feelings even when in reality negativity can happen anytime. It is not that I am in denial with the cycle of life, but I think it is where hope comes in. It is when joy prevails, not just happy sappy. It is when you’re at peace. Even if you have little, you realize that there is more to life. I mean it is just a tree but why it makes me excited and think positively.
I don’t know what else to write.. I don’t wanna keep going and sound confused so I will stop here.
I hope that everyone will have a wonderful Christmas. God bless you and your loved ones.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
I am not the same everyday. I am not loving everyday. Kindness does not come naturally. I am not motivated to cook, organize and clean the house everyday. Some days I don’t like the people who matter to me the most. I don’t even like myself too some days. My brain is not sharp everyday. My heart is not happy nor sad everyday.
BUT….
I have the ability to make choices, to make decisions. I realized that the easiest way to live my life is to choose to love, to be kind, to do something even if it’s small and slowly build myself up, to continue to care and be grateful for the people I love and who care about me. My brain may not be sharp at times but I can slow down to re-focus and do what I can. My heart can be happy and sad but it is okay, it makes me appreciative, enables me to count my blessings, it teaches humility, self control, patience and empathy.
Facebook did a lot of good things for me and for a lot of people. I am able to connect with my family who are three thousand miles away without spending hundreds of dollars. People are able to find their long lost loved ones. It helps with community organizing; and promote businesses. But with all these good things, this platform comes with negative impact to people’s lives. It has become a convenient tool for chaos. I don’t want to go on details about negativity because I understand and believe that at the end of the day it is myself who should be in control of how to use this platform.
After a long time, I noticed that FB seems to know me more and more. I have been on this platform for eleven years. Obviously, it gathered enough information to know me based on what I posted and shared, what posts I liked and commented to. Duh!
Sometimes it is creepy to see ads or the actual products, including the online store and other websites I just visited being advertised on my FB account. Since all these advertisements happens to be what I am interested, it leads me scrolling and browsing, until I realized I lost track of time.
A lot of time I am stuck checking intoย people’s posts and see which trends deserve a like, a comment and worth sharing. Sometimes I would wonder how perfect, sad, beautiful or funny the lives of myย FB “friends” seems to be based on what they share. It makes me look into myself and quietly question how my life is compared to theirs. Then I wouldย post stuff too, get comments and likes that makes me feel good.
I am so addicted to this platform. I wasted a lot of time.
My to-do list remained a list and got longer as days and weeks went by. I would be late running errands. I would get frustrated and cranky because things did not happen as planned. It makes me a horrible wife and mother when my attitude stinks from disappointing myself for wasting a lot of time.
I thought of deleting Facebook for months and the only thing that was holding me back are the photos, funny posts of our daughter when she was little, family events and travels; and I like Facebook memories that pops up every year. Most importantly, I worried that I may not be able to connect with my family. I thought of how expensive it will cost using a regular phone service.
One day, my stepson called and requested if we can use another way of communicating without using Facebook. We were all wondering what he was up to. He deleted his social media accounts. He mentioned that he watched this documentary on Netflix titled The Social Dilemma and he would like us to watch it too. I watched the documentary and saw myself through the matrix they use. I was convinced that Facebook has to go.
I informed my family that I will be deleting my Facebook to prevent them from worrying. I thought my brother, the only one who uses e-mails and Skype, would be enough connection to get hold of my mother and siblings when I need to talk to them. I went ahead deleted myย Facebook account to disconnect from everything on it that keep me so addicted.
Take note that you cannot have messenger alone. You have to have a Facebook account.
This may sound funny and hypocritical, but I had to create a new Facebook account just so I can have messenger to stay connected with my entire family (for free). It is convenient for everyone.
This new FB account has nothing on it, it is unsearchable, all the notifications are turned off and deactivated.
Not being stuck on this platform is the best feeling.
The next week, I deleted my Instagram too. I figured they are all the same.
I am done assuming that people’s lives are almost perfect as it appears on social media. I am done allowing them to assume that my life seems perfect as it appears. I am very happy. Content. Grateful. The status of my being does not need approval through buttons of likes, hearts, OMGs, and comments. I don’t need hundreds of “friends” on Friends’ List when I only need (and I already have) few real friends.
I am keeping this blog, YouTube account and Flickr, these three is more like my hide-out with just the stuff I love to do – photography, short videos and writing journal. Simple.
I like social media but I have to give up few platforms that I find difficult to control myself from being addicted to.
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14
Jotting Down Grace 