Stuck No More (Facebook and Me)

Facebook did a lot of good things for me and for a lot of people. I am able to connect with my family who are three thousand miles away without spending hundreds of dollars. People are able to find their long lost loved ones. It helps with community organizing; and promote businesses. But with all these good things, this platform comes with negative impact to people’s lives. It has become a convenient tool for chaos. I don’t want to go on details about negativity because I understand and believe that at the end of the day it is myself who should be in control of how to use this platform.

After a long time, I noticed that FB seems to know me more and more. I have been on this platform for eleven years. Obviously, it gathered enough information to know me based on what I posted and shared, what posts I liked and commented to. Duh!

Sometimes it is creepy to see ads or the actual products, including the online store and other websites I just visited being advertised on my FB account. Since all these advertisements happens to be what I am interested, it leads me scrolling and browsing, until I realized I lost track of time.

A lot of time I am stuck checking into  people’s posts and see which trends deserve a like, a comment and worth sharing. Sometimes I would wonder how perfect, sad, beautiful or funny the lives of my  FB “friends” seems to be based on what they share. It makes me look into myself and quietly question how my life is compared to theirs. Then I would  post stuff too, get comments and likes that makes me feel good.

I am so addicted to this platform. I wasted a lot of time.

My to-do list remained a list and got longer as days and weeks went by.  I would be late running errands. I would get frustrated and cranky because things did not happen as planned. It makes me a horrible wife and mother when my attitude stinks from disappointing myself for wasting a lot of time. 

I thought of deleting Facebook for months and the only thing that was holding me back are the photos, funny posts of our daughter when she was little, family events and travels; and I like Facebook memories that pops up every year. Most importantly, I worried that I may not be able to connect with my family. I thought of how expensive it will cost using a regular phone service.

One day, my stepson called and requested if we can use another way of communicating without using Facebook. We were all wondering what he was up to. He deleted his social media accounts. He mentioned that he watched this documentary on Netflix titled The Social Dilemma and he would like us to watch it too. I watched the documentary and saw myself through the matrix they use. I was convinced that Facebook has to go.

I informed my family that I will be deleting my Facebook to prevent them from worrying. I thought my brother, the only one who uses e-mails and Skype, would be enough connection to get hold of my mother and siblings when I need to talk to them. I went ahead deleted my  Facebook account to disconnect from everything on it that keep me so addicted.

Take note that you cannot have messenger alone.  You have to have a Facebook account.

This may sound funny and hypocritical, but I had to create a new Facebook account just so I can have messenger to stay connected with my entire family (for free). It is convenient for everyone. 

This new FB account has nothing on it, it is unsearchable, all the notifications are turned off and deactivated.

Not being stuck on this platform is the best feeling.

The next week, I deleted my Instagram too. I figured they are all the same.

I am done assuming that people’s lives are almost perfect as it appears on social media. I am done allowing them to assume that my life seems perfect as it appears. I am very happy. Content. Grateful. The status of my being does not need approval through buttons of likes, hearts, OMGs, and comments. I don’t need hundreds of “friends” on Friends’ List when I only need (and I already have) few real friends.

I am keeping this blog, YouTube account and Flickr, these three is more like my hide-out with just the stuff I love to do – photography, short videos and writing journal. Simple.

I like social media but I have to give up few platforms that I find difficult to control myself from being addicted to.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. Proverbs 14:12

Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety. Proverbs 11:14